Reality setting in...

I must say that it's really hard to think that come Wednesday, Andrew and I will be starting our trek to the East Coast.

Reason why this is sinking in: Just got done with the party that Nancy and Keith threw for us (excellent party I must say). Included all the in-town friends and church buddies - good ol' BBQ with great friends, who I will really miss.

It's just really hard to pick up your life and leave it. In a way, I kind of did that when I moved out of my dad's house, but those were different circumstances, and I was just moving 15 miles away. But here, many more miles, and having to part with some friends that I have really grown close too. And I suck at making friends and keeping in contact with them.

Of course, Andrew is more seasoned, as he did this for four years while going to school at Cornell - and he did it with a tearful girlfriend at the time - this time that girl is going with him....

I just hope that God really does have a plan for me on this one. It's hard to say that I'm moving to the East Coast, when in a way, this is more of Andrew's adventure than mine. But I told him that I would follow him - and I told him that many years ago. I just wish that I knew where this adventure will lead me rather than to Princeton, NJ, where I can look for a job since a grad student stipend doesn't even go far enough for the student, where I can finally have my own dog to take care of, where... who knows what...

I hate change.

I hate leaving friends.

I suck at keeping in contact with people.

I hate trying to make new friends and opening up my shell to more people who I don't know if I can trust them.

But I will do what I can to keep in contact with all my Seattle buddies, I just hope that they do the same for me.

Yes, I have a fear of abandonment as well as a fear of social interactions. But, if you know my past, you can probably guess why.

Please God, help me through this. Comfort me. Guide me. Show me where you want me to go. I definitely can't do this on my own and Andrew can only do so much.

All this is just another reason why moving sucks...